 |
| Maitreya Buddha - The Bestower of Children |
I know I missed out on some of the kejillion rules and regulations of the “CINAPEK” beliefs on pregnancy but hey, take a look at what we have to do to ensure a CHINESE baby is born right….youre gonna love this
1. A husband should carry his wife over a pan of burning coal when entering his home for the first time to ensure she will pass through labor successfully – Ok I didn’t get this done but hey, I did carry her up a flight of stairs under the hot hot sun!
2. Everything a pregnant woman see’s or does will influence her unborn child – So I guess the more I show my willie to my wife the more chances Jr will be a boy innit.
3. Sex is forbidden during pregnancy – Are you kidding me? These Chinese people are just so conservative! Just because they are not exposed to pregnant porn doesn’t mean that it is wrong to DO IT!
4. if a pregnant woman eats food that's not properly cut or mashed, her child will have a careless disposition – This ones easy, Mommy just has to chew her food, the kwai lo’s will say to ease digestion, chew your food akakkakak
5. If she eats light colored foods, the baby will be fair-skinned – Explain the black people!
6. No construction work should be done in the house of a pregnant women. Hammering and sawing could lead to an abortion or fetal deformities – Ok this one I totally believe coz the Chinese in me believes that the house is where the baby is made, so just don’t mess with it.
7. Pregnant women should never attend funerals – Yeah, the Chinese in me believes that there are dirty spirits at funerals, no good for the baby.
8. To scare away evil sprits, Chinese women may sleep with knives under their bed – I have a PARANG under the bed plus my airgun.
9. Many believe it is unlucky to throw a shower for an unborn baby – I don’t get baby showers anyways
10. Once the baby is born they will often pray to the goddess who helped them conceive with an offering of sweet meats and incense – This is a confirm. No doubts about it.
11. The Chinese believe that each person is made up of some of the five elements - metal, wood, water, fire, and earth. If a fortune teller finds a child is lacking an important element, the missing element is incorporated in her name -- unless the missing element is fire or water – Now this is NEW! I didn’t know our names were chosen like that…..isnt it COOL!
12. The Chinese wouldn't dream of naming a baby before she's born. In fact, they are given false names, or milk names, to scare away evil spirits – Eh, we have the PARANG under the bed plus so many gods in the house, plus a fierce looking dad, plus the protection of the god that gave us the child….harlo, any Tom, Dick $ Harry spirit oso lari la
13. If you strike an animal during pregnancy, the newborn child will look like that animal and behave like one. – that’s why I stopped fishing la
14. To announce the baby's birth, a new father sends money and wine to his in-laws. Special ribbons fastened to the wine jar signify if the baby is a boy or a girl. Parents send red eggs to close family and friends -- an even number for a girl, odd for a boy. Or they may send out boxes of fruit. Return gifts might include two kinds of cake, brown sugar, millet, eggs, and walnut meats. – A bit too much work….a phone call nowadays will do the trick, or even skype!
15. Chinese mothers may fill a baby's pillow with rice or beans to give the baby's head a proper shape – I might just go for this one!
16. To encourage a strong step, Chinese mothers once bound their child's ankles loosely with a wide ribbon to keep the feet in an upright positions – I wonder if Nike has this.
17. Tigers are consider the protector against demons, many Chinese boys will have embroidered tigers on their shoes – I’ll get Jr Tattooed..
1. A husband should carry his wife over a pan of burning coal when entering his home for the first time to ensure she will pass through labor successfully – Ok I didn’t get this done but hey, I did carry her up a flight of stairs under the hot hot sun!
2. Everything a pregnant woman see’s or does will influence her unborn child – So I guess the more I show my willie to my wife the more chances Jr will be a boy innit.
3. Sex is forbidden during pregnancy – Are you kidding me? These Chinese people are just so conservative! Just because they are not exposed to pregnant porn doesn’t mean that it is wrong to DO IT!
4. if a pregnant woman eats food that's not properly cut or mashed, her child will have a careless disposition – This ones easy, Mommy just has to chew her food, the kwai lo’s will say to ease digestion, chew your food akakkakak
5. If she eats light colored foods, the baby will be fair-skinned – Explain the black people!
6. No construction work should be done in the house of a pregnant women. Hammering and sawing could lead to an abortion or fetal deformities – Ok this one I totally believe coz the Chinese in me believes that the house is where the baby is made, so just don’t mess with it.
7. Pregnant women should never attend funerals – Yeah, the Chinese in me believes that there are dirty spirits at funerals, no good for the baby.
8. To scare away evil sprits, Chinese women may sleep with knives under their bed – I have a PARANG under the bed plus my airgun.
9. Many believe it is unlucky to throw a shower for an unborn baby – I don’t get baby showers anyways
10. Once the baby is born they will often pray to the goddess who helped them conceive with an offering of sweet meats and incense – This is a confirm. No doubts about it.
11. The Chinese believe that each person is made up of some of the five elements - metal, wood, water, fire, and earth. If a fortune teller finds a child is lacking an important element, the missing element is incorporated in her name -- unless the missing element is fire or water – Now this is NEW! I didn’t know our names were chosen like that…..isnt it COOL!
12. The Chinese wouldn't dream of naming a baby before she's born. In fact, they are given false names, or milk names, to scare away evil spirits – Eh, we have the PARANG under the bed plus so many gods in the house, plus a fierce looking dad, plus the protection of the god that gave us the child….harlo, any Tom, Dick $ Harry spirit oso lari la
13. If you strike an animal during pregnancy, the newborn child will look like that animal and behave like one. – that’s why I stopped fishing la
14. To announce the baby's birth, a new father sends money and wine to his in-laws. Special ribbons fastened to the wine jar signify if the baby is a boy or a girl. Parents send red eggs to close family and friends -- an even number for a girl, odd for a boy. Or they may send out boxes of fruit. Return gifts might include two kinds of cake, brown sugar, millet, eggs, and walnut meats. – A bit too much work….a phone call nowadays will do the trick, or even skype!
15. Chinese mothers may fill a baby's pillow with rice or beans to give the baby's head a proper shape – I might just go for this one!
16. To encourage a strong step, Chinese mothers once bound their child's ankles loosely with a wide ribbon to keep the feet in an upright positions – I wonder if Nike has this.
17. Tigers are consider the protector against demons, many Chinese boys will have embroidered tigers on their shoes – I’ll get Jr Tattooed..
No comments:
Post a Comment